Calligram -or- Concrete
Epistle
Event Poem -or- List Poem
Post the two-three poems you like the best out of the group from this packet. Include the style you chose to explore.
After your poem, write a few sentences about why you like these particular poems.
In addition, write one question you have about how you can improve your poem. - Peers are assigned to respond to these questions on a regular basis.
Click on "__ comments" at the bottom of this post to publish your comments. Under "Choose an identity", select "Name/URL" and enter your name. First initial and Last name are the best. Sign your post with your real name. I cannot give you credit if I do not know who you are.
DUE: Monday, January 31
Epistle:
ReplyDeleteDear Nanaji,
Yesterday, I was sitting on the swing in my house and I remembered you.
Before you died, we used to sit on the swing.
Do you remember which one? Right by our front door in Staten Island?
I thought you’d like to know that I have a sister now.
Her name is Sayani and she’s eleven years old. We have five young cousins too.
Deeya and Dilan, who are twins, and Maya, Dhruv and Krish. Have you seen them?
Even though I am the only one you got to meet, I promise to keep remembering.
Nanima and I will help the little ones remember too.
My mother and her brothers succeeded and I know you would be proud.
I admire how you taught them to rise above the Bronx.
Mummy became a doctor and has been on TV. Richie Mama owns a very successful computer company.
Ketan Mama became an Emergency Room physician. I secretly think it’s because he wishes he could have revived you that night.
All of us are well. I hope that you are too.
Mummy always tells me she can see the signs you’ve been leaving. Thanks for still guiding our way.
I cannot describe in words, how much I miss you.
I feel it every single day.
But know that in my memory, you will always stay.
Your first granddaughter,
Kaeya
I like this poem because it was the first time I ever thought to “communicate” with my grandfather since he died when I was 3. I have a strong connection to the poem and I feel it fulfills the “epistle” category because it’s a letter to someone who I know would understand it even though other people who read it don’t. I think that’s how most letters are so that’s how I wrote it, without really explaining who/what is inside.
List Poem:
To screen for the HR resistance phenotype, I inoculate plants with Pseudomonas Psyringe bacterial strains 21-28 days following germination.
To create the solution for inoculation, I grow bacteria overnight in liquid Kings Broth (KB) medium.
To ensure a high concentration of bacteria, the following morning, I dilute 5 ml of the growth media in 50 ml of fresh KB media.
To allow the bacteria to grow, I spin the resulting solution for 4-5 hours.
To isolate the bacteria from the solution, I centrifuge the tubes at 3000 rpm for 10 min.
To further isolate the bacteria, I re-suspend the solution in sterile 10 mM MgSO4 buffer.
To achieve a concentration OD600 of 0.002, I dilute the bacteria via serial dilutions in 10 mM MgSO4 buffer, or approximately 2.5 X 108 cfu ml-1.
To inoculate Arabidopsis Thaliana plant, I infect two leaves per plant, from four replicate plants per line, by using a 1 ml blunt syringe.
To score for the HR resistance phenotype, I wait approximately 20 hours after inoculation and record my results.
To verify results, I start all over again.
I really enjoyed this one because it shows my sciency side. This is what I do on a daily basis and it was fun writing about it in a style that’s relevant to the topic. It’s extremely hard to follow and even harder to grasp but that’s the fun of it.
List:
ReplyDeleteArriving Home
Door
Shoes
Stairs
Hall
Bag
Heat
Hall
Stairs
Coat
Coat Hook
Stairs
Hall
Computer
Light
Refrigerator
Milk
Cupboard
Glass
Milk
Glass
Fridge
Milk
Cupboard
Glass
Computer
...
Fine, Homework
This list poem predates my knowledge of the form. I got home from school and I was rather drained, so my actions felt somewhat robotic. So I started saying the objects I was interacting with to entertain myself. Needless to say, I was alone. ;) As a poem it is fairly simple, but it isn't necessarily easily understood at first. What it does is get people thinking about, well about whatever they connect this to. Maxx connected it to schedules, which is entirely valid.
Question: Does the flow of the poem have any problems?
Epistle:
To Concerned Academic,
I have received your message entailing the concerns you have with regard to this administration. I feel I must include that I was dissappointed both in your mistaken information, and your apparnently uncontrollablge urge for crude lexis.
In response to your queries: no.
Yours Sincerely,
Administration Head
Honestly, I would rather put my concrete poem here, but the format wouldn't work. What I do like about this poem, however, is it's vagueness. It leaves you wondering, always good for encouraging creativity. I'm also rather proud of the wording of "crude lexis," as the cold, unemotional description of such an emotional choice of words is a fun dichotomy.
Question: Should I have put more effort into the rythym/timing/ryhming of this poem?
Epistle:
ReplyDeleteYesterday was really interesting
It all consisted of my mother, my dog, and tv
First I came home and did homework
which was really boring
Then the Jersey Shore cast came to entertain
Sami was a difficult character again
My mom finally came home and brought Panda Express
It was delicious, but kinda spicy
Finally my dog Allie was having seizures
She's 90 years old in dog years and almost on the way out
My day then concluded with studying for a test
Sleep was the resolution of my day
I really like this poem because i get to describe things that happen in chronological order. This allows for a story to be told which I thought was really cool to see.
Is this too bland? Does this flow correctly?
List:
The curious cat with his creepiness
with his soft skin
with his lazy actions
The curious cat with his interests
With his exploration
With his discoveries
The curious cat with his needs
With his delicious cat nip
With his purified water
The curious cat with his new self
I like this poem because its very descriptive. You get to really get down in detail with a topic which allows for practice with being creative.
Is this too basic or should i add more?
Epistle
ReplyDeleteMolly.
Dear Molly,
I loved your comfy couch.
I used to watch your show every day at 11 o clock on my couch.
My goal was to be a human clock like you, and have a bright red nose.
I would cry until my face was bright red when my mom made me turn off the TV.
Hope this isn’t creepy being that I’m still one of your biggest
fans 15 years later.
You’re the best,
Bria Griffith
Event Poem
Fashonista
1. Replace your old wardrobe and make a new dress for yourself, don’t forget matching pumps.
2. Change the wallpaper in your house by taking magazine pages to decorate each room. Color Coordination is also in right now.
3. Driving in style, take pages out of the magazine and paste them on the steering wheel, for something different.
4. Giving is great especially flowers. Paper flowers for your date? Take a magazine page and shape it like a rose.
5. Switching the landscape outside of your house is always fun! Make your tree come alive with pictures of those new hot jimmy shoes, or maybe you liked all the shoes in the magazine have fun go crazy. Who says you cant have a tree shoe, or shoe of new lip gloss.
I liked these two poems the best because the first one Molly reminds me of my childhood, and the second one involves something i love...fashion! I had a lot of fun playing around with the fashion one about magazines.
Question: In "Molly", should i have added more?
Epistle
ReplyDeleteHey Family!
fourty four hundret miles away,
I just wanted to say "Hey!".
Everything is going well,
only weather sucks like hell.
Really hope you guys are good,
but I freaking wish I could,
stay here till I'm an old man,
best regards and "Yes, we can!"
Karl
Event Poem
The Glove Event Poem
1.Cut the fingertips off the glove,
but not if you're wearing them.
2.Color them blue,
and stick 'em to bottom of your shoe,
to avoid annoying walking noises.
3.Clean the rest of the glove and then,
you can use it as a sponge for your kitchen.
I liked my first poem very much because it rhymed very well and is a true poem with true feelings and ideas. I had some trouble with the Event Poem because it was really random and I really need to work on the Event Poem. Any idea how I can do this?
Thanks !
Event Poem
ReplyDelete1.Squeeze the banana, let it shoot up in the air, and swallow it whole like monkey.
2.Use the banana as a telephone when the power goes out.
3.Peel the banana and use the peel for hair at a Halloween party .
4.Look at the banana; it looks like a crooked nose.
5.Feel the banana, it feels like the skin of a dolphin.
calligram
An apple a day
Keeps the doctor away
That’s what they say, but
It also gives us energy all
day. Picked fresh off a
tree, they come so red
and juicy
I like my event poem because it’s extremely silly; it seems kind of hard to take seriously when reading it, so it’s fun. I like my calligram because it’s short and simple. Obviously it’s about an apple, and it’s just straight to the point. It looked more like an apple before, when it was on paper, so just try and see it like an apple.
Should I add more to either poem? And in general, how can I improve both poems?
Reema
Concrete poem
ReplyDeleteWhen I open my eyes
The first thing I see
Is the smile on your face
Oh, the beauty of it
The sound of your laugh
As you cuddle me in your arm
You hug me tight and whisper my name
Again and again
Smile, Keep that smile
List Poem
What’s in the closet?
red shirt my lucky
shoes to play
chocolate to hide
school bag to dump
hat for a fan
socks to warm
books to read
a mess to clean
Epistle
Dear Father,
You don’t know what it is like here
Horrible and terrible thing to see
I wish I could turn back in time
I was walking one day
Holding a gun in my hand
Something went by
A bullet went there
A young boy flew to the sky
So youthful, and innocent
This feeling of sorrow took over
My heart stopped beating for a moment now
I don’t want to hold a gun anymore
I just want to come home
i like my list poem because it is just a normal poem and i just went through my closet and wrote about whats in there. The Epistle poemwas hard to write because i couldnt think of a good topic to write about but in the end i got a good topic.
should i make my poems longer?
List poem
ReplyDeleteThe color scheme I love
Teal, blue,the colors to feel
Saltwater indigo,thick,dark and beautiful
Rainbow Red, with a hint of orange
Pink singly loudly, standing out proudly
The violet that is time specific, for evening or for lust
The grand colors that are a team
Teal, blue, indigo are red all hate
There is a color that hurts their head
“May green burn in hell” the flames of blue and red say
I like this poem because it not only is an exageration my personal dislike for the color green, but is simple straightforward and either serious or lighthearted depending on how you interpret it.
My question is if the descriptions of the colors are too vague, to weird, or just not good descriptions? Im not very good with adjectives...
Epistle
Dear Teal,
Your color is beautiful
Like the morning or Mexico
Or a sea shore or the sky
After a wonderful rain I didn’t see
Tell your neighbors, indigo, yellow, whatever
I like them. Give them blessings.
Green, spit on, because it is not in my interest
To give blessings to green
Tell your fellow colors they create this world
Thankfully
Greatfully
The blessed by you,
Numbers
I like this poem because i wrote the entire thing, no clue who it was from, and at the last second wrote down "Numbers", and found that it worked.
Is the poem is too vague or too weird? Im not sure if I had any subconcious reasons for writing this, but theres no meaning behind it. Yet when I read it after the fact it seems a little suspicious, odd, and creepy. Is it? Is that a good thing?
Kierra Morris
ReplyDeleteEvent poem
• 2 ¾ cups all purpose dirt
• 1 teaspoon vinegar
• ½ teaspoon toe jam
• 1 tablespoon of silly putty, softened
• 1 ½ cups white coal
• 1 giant green booger
• 1 teaspoon spam extract
• Preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C). In a small bowl, stir together dirt, baking toe jam, and vinegar. Set aside
1. In a large bowl, cream together the clay and coal until smooth. Beat in the green booger and spam extract. Gradually blend in the dry ingredients. Roll rounded teaspoonfuls of dough into balls, and place onto none stick cookie sheets.
2. Bake 8 to 10 minutes in the preheated oven, or until golden. Let stand on cookie sheet two minutes before removing to cool on wire racks
Epistle
Dear Papa,
I think about you everyday since you left me.
We all think about you a lot, we need you here with our family.
I wish that time could stand still.
I wish you were still here, so we could make this moment last forever.
I know I can’t bring you back.
No matter how hard I try.
Just as long as you continue to be my angel and stand by.
suggestions?
Concrete Poem
ReplyDeleteW
H
A
T? is LOVE??????
For ME it is f
a
l
l
i
n
g
……………………fast
and s
i n k i
n g
S……l……o……w
and transforming into a new
PE
R
S O N
I love the visual of this poem! I tried to personify each word, which was very fun. This poem is about love and transformations and i think those two topics go well with this style especially the subject of change.
Any suggestions? Should it have more meat and less decoration?
List Poem
Open the door
Walk across the stone pathway
To the garage
Obtain the watering can
And the seed
Walk across the stone pathway
Water the petunias
Feed the day lilies
Water the 4 o’ clocks
Talk to the roses
Sit for a breath
Walk across the stone pathway
Put the watering can back in its specific place
Walk across the stone pathway
Stare at the monarch winged fellow
Laugh
Smile
Laugh
Proceed walking on the stone pathway
Reach the door
Turn around
View your garden
Your hard work
The envy of the neighbors
Open the door
Go inside
Inspired by my mother, father and grandfather. My parents are flower freaks and my grandfather lived for his garden and the small vineyard he created. (R.I.P. <3) Therefore I love it. This is pretty much the majority of their summers.
Suggestions?
NIA KAI DAVIS
@Alex
ReplyDeleteFirst Poem: Q:Is this too bland? Does this flow correctly?
A: I would not say that it's bland. You used alot of details which was great, but in poems like this you can always use more, and be more specific. It does flow well though.
Second Poem: Q:Is this too basic or should i add more?
A: I liked the simplicity of it, and I think it flowed very nicely, the repition was also nice.
Elliot: Cool idea but it seems like there are some steps missing like "Computer, light refrigerator." Also I don't qhite understand the letter but it still works.
ReplyDeleteCory Flohr
ReplyDeleteEpistle-Driving
Dear Man Who Just Cut Me Off,
Are you really in that much of a hurry?
I promise that you're gonna be alright if you're one minute later.
You missed the light anyways, it's gonna take you a lot longer if you get us into an accident.
And I'm sure that your hideous wife and half-retarded children will live if they have to wait a couple extra minutes for their wonderful father to get home.
Go to hell,
Fellow Motorist
List Poem- Brea's Frog
My sister's frog is a fascinating creature.
His eyes are jet black,
they sit in the sides of his brilliant green head.
He is speckled with black spots.
Contrasting to his emerald green back,
is his fiery orange red stomach, which he keeps hidden.
Nature was feeling very blod while creating this bright creature.
Cory flohr- continued
ReplyDeleteI thought my epistle was funny. How can I make my list poem better, or more different?
@KARL
ReplyDeleteQ:I liked my first poem very much because it rhymed very well and is a true poem with true feelings and ideas. I had some trouble with the Event Poem because it was really random and I really need to work on the Event Poem. Any idea how I can do this?
Thanks !
for the event poem i think you can just add a few more actions talk about how the glove smells or how it feels just be silly it doesnt have to be actions or events tht Always happen
- REEMA
Kierra @ NIA
ReplyDeleteIn response to the question about your concrete poem: I think its a great visual along with nice dialog. Its deep enough to capture the eye of the viewer with its visual/emotional aspects. There is no need to change it.
In response to the question about your list poem: Because this genre of poetry is so fun and has very limited boundaries you can't possibly do it wrong. Although I do feel this poem is more of and event poem because it has a very strong story line rather than a List poem.
@Bria:
ReplyDeleteThese 2 poems were great and they fit the styles perfectly. I enjoyed the Molly one cause i related to it since I did also watch it when I was younger.
In "Molly", should i have added more?
i think for this type of poem its an ok size, but you can definitely do more with it. Maybe tell how you felt while watching the show or maybe your favorite moments.
@ Reema
ReplyDeleteI really liked both your poems because they included some funny ideas.
There is not a lot to improve but i noticed that the second peoem does rhyme but the rhythm is sometimes a little fancy. Maybe it is because you wanted it to look like an apple though.
Karl