Abstract
Acrostic
Nonsense
Post the one poem you like the best out of the group from this packet. Include the style you chose to explore.
After your poem, write a few sentences about why you like this particular poem.
In addition, write one question you have about how you can improve your poem. - Peers are assigned to respond to these questions on a regular basis.
Click on "__ comments" at the bottom of this post to publish your comments. Under "Choose an identity", select "Name/URL" and enter your name. First initial and Last name are the best. Sign your post with your real name. I cannot give you credit if I do not know who you are.
DUE: Friday, January 21
Love.
ReplyDeleteLasting vibes
Over population of butterflies grow in your stomach.
Very unpredictable yet comforting to the soul
Exciting, and scarey to know that it's finally here, powerful, eternal when it's real.
I like this poem the best because of the word i chose. Love. Theres alot you can expand on with it. I like the lines about butterflies, and i liked my word choice.
Some of it was a bit choppy, i would like to know how i can improve this?
Bria Griffith
The creepy,slimy,creature
ReplyDeleteIs always changing it's skin
Too bad it's not a fish
For it can never grow a fin
He asked his friend for help
But all he got was a grin
Now he has to watch it
The humans want his chin
If they take it away
They will put it in a bin
I chose to do a Nonsense poem , and i like this one because it's silly and i got to be creative with it. I also like that it rhyms but doesnt make sense,so that makes it pretty fun.
I'm not sure if I should add more detail , or if it needs to sound more silly. any suggestions?
- Reema Hamadeh
Don't joke !
ReplyDeleteWe call him Joker
He's damn good at poker!
Yeah he even kills,
Shows off with his skills.
Only Batman his fear,
So he's better here!
Evil but smart,
Ridiculous his card!
Inside he's mean,
Outside though, kean!
Upside down he died,
So that stoped the fight!
I chose this Acrostic poem, because the first letters of the poem build the phrase "Why so serious", what perfectly fits into the plot and the title.
Elliot though corrected me and said, the Batman line and the following one, don't really fit into the poem. I can see this, and ask for further improvements in my poetry skills.
Karl Schmelzing
Kierra Morris
ReplyDeleteEscaping from the pain that lies within my soul
Sacrificing the love that was once there
Capturing the negative energy and releasing it in the air
Accepting my wrong doings and moving forward
Peacefully living life as it once was
Evaluating my new found self
I chose my acrostic poem because it’s about someone overcoming pain, and accepting there new found self. I really enjoyed writing this poem; it was how I was feeling at that moment and time.
Do I need to use a stronger word choose? Is there anything that needs to be altered?
I'm sorry this is up so late Mr. Weil but I didn't have computer access for the past few days.
ReplyDeleteAy mate' whats the...
radius of a circle?
"Two, pie, are!"
Pirates love pie,
forget it and you'll walk the radius,
ARGH!
I chose this as my Nonsense verse because I liked how it ended up being pirate themed, and it was actually pretty fun just putting together random stuff that serves no purpose. I personally liked the rhyming, even if it was a little tacky.
My question is if this is crazy enough to deserve being called nonsense?
Im so sorry Mr. Weil, I misinterpreted and thought it was due Sunday night. Wow imma dunce and again I apologize.
ReplyDeleteAlex Worix
Yes it was a horse's mane
That was golden like night pie
Soft as reptile's skin
With the words "Who me? Oh my"
The mane was fluffy galore
with the excite of a ride
But wait no its not a horse
Huh! But a lion with a stride
I chose nonsense because it all had to do with practicing rhythm and just having fun with writing. It really allowed myself to not stress on it being perfect and more focused on letting yourself go while thinking anything I write is a masterpiece cause I made it my own
My question is, is this rhythm a little off? It does not sound like it should flow as good as it should?
Sorry this is late, it just completely slipped my mind until today.
ReplyDeleteEverybody stops and stares,
Xeno doesn't seem to care.
Parting words he has for all.
Laughter soon does fill the hall.
Even through the witty mocking,
Truth in grains can be heard knocking.
Insults, soon, are all around,
Vaguely only, for tongues are bound.
Even still he doesn't care.
I chose my Acrostic poem because I like how it turned out better than the Nonsense poem I did. I also like Acrostic because I can see several very fun ways to play with the design, within it's rules. Most of them involve the reader having to figure out the form of the poem, however, rather than revealing it. In this case, my Acrostic word (is that a term?) is Expletive, from which the feel of the poem is derived. Another possibility I would like to explore is an ironic poem, that is only ironic when you see the Acrostic word.
I believe the question I would most like answered is whether or not the choice to have the last line not rhyme with another was good, or if I should have chosen a different rhyme scheme.
The poem from the packet that i liked the most was 'Nights of Naomi' by Bill Knott. Likewise, I also did an abstract poem.
ReplyDeleteDon't break my bones,
Kingpin peeling on the grinding stone.
Splayed broth undone-
But whom could be found of
treason?
They are a morsel in a trout pond
And will soon be gone.
I like the way that this one sounds. The words and the rhythm seem to work well aesthetically, but i could be wrong. This kind of poem appealed to me because it's cathartic but unrestrained so you can move it naturally in any direction you like. Plus it's just simple fun to shovel together the words and whatnot that seem appropriate.
I need to know, is this poem too short? there was a bit more but I think it fit. Do you think it should be longer?
Kaeya Majmundar
ReplyDelete"Challenge"
Acrostic Style
Come times when my inner serenity is
Hindered,
As something daunting, something unfathomable, confronts me instead.
Let no change of wind nor strenuous decision
Lay its seeds of burden within me, I chant. For
“Emotions should inhibit no Teflon coated soul,” as my grandfather once said.
Now is the time, rather, to step out of the shadow.
“Go with the flow” is the name of my game, for anxiety will
Ebb and contentment will resurface.
My purpose in writing this poem was to describe myself. I tried several other words such as "experiment" and "family" but I found that none of those words could really relay this self-description that I was looking for. I am happy with this version, in particular, because it combines advice that I've been given and past experiences that have helped me to become the strong, proud, person I am today.
Question: I feel like the poem is a bit choppy. How can I express the same idea with more fluidity?
Maxx Kleiner
ReplyDeleteBen Wallace protects his house
nothing gets through
not even a mouse
and you know that its true
every driving shot
results in a block
so you better just stop
for dat ass gets clocked
I chose to write a Bouts-Rimes. The reason I di a poem on Ben Wallace is because i was watching some highlights of his years on the Pistons and being since I was doing that, it was easier to write a poem on what I was curently watching.
question: was the language to harsh at the end or was it alright? Because I simply couldn't find a better way to end the poem.
Bilal Ghani
ReplyDeleteNon-sense
There was a foolish monkey
Who loved to eat bananas,
Her name was Precious Hannah
One day she saw a crescent moon
So she jumped up in the sky
And never came back by noon
Acrostic
For you my dear
Love is blooming
Over the land and over the sea
While you are not looking, I am
Eager to give you this beautiful
Rose for you my love
the nonsense poem is my favorite one because they are just fun to write and you dont have to make sense. you just write whats comming in your head.
ReplyDeletei want to make my poems longer but i just cant think about what to write
@reema
ReplyDeleteQ: I'm not sure if i need to add more detail, or if it needs to sound more silly? any suggestion.
A (my response): I loved how it rhymed and told a little story at the same time. You could have made it more out there, and silly. That was the only thing I would say change. You can be extremly crazy, and silly with wording so go for it. Don't be afraid if it sounds really wacky.
Maxx: your poem is really fun. It reminds me of an eminem rap for some reason and I really enjoyed it : ) I don't have any suggestions on fixing it because it's a pretty chill piece. Good job! --Kaeya majmundar
ReplyDeleteAmeer @ Alex
ReplyDeleteQ: My question is, is this rhythm a little off? It does not sound like it should flow as good as it should?
(My Response): I think it flows fine Alex, the rhyme scheme is a little un-organized but if your interested in fixing that just read it over until your at where you want to be.
for my boy Bilal, I have to say that I enjojyed the two poems you wrote, but you need to fix the last line of the first poem. Maybe replace never with didn't or just
ReplyDelete@Bria
ReplyDeleteI Like your poem a lot because all of your line tie in together to describe love . i like how you focus on how it feels specifically. i don't have any criticism towards it because to basically speaks for itself
- REEMA
Karl @ Kierra
ReplyDeleteFirst I'd like to say, that I really enjoyed reading the poem, because it seemed to me that every word has a deeper meaning and is consciously chosen. Even the starting letters of every line end up making perfect sense. So good job with that.
To answer your question I can only say, that I find that your words are already "strong" but that"s what makes it so deep and thoughtful. The only thing I was missing, is the closer connection between every line. To improve that, you might want to include more punctuation marks.
Kierrs @ Ksrl
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your poem. I think its great that you dont feel the need to censor your writing (which sometimes i do). I also would like to say; I didn't realize the Batman line or the one following didnt fit. The lines before sets up a pretty good introduction for Batman because you talk about how he kills and shows off with his skills. Keep it!
sorry I meant to write at Karl not Ksrl
ReplyDelete@Ameer:
ReplyDeleteMy question is if this is crazy enough to deserve being called nonsense?
In response to your question, i think that you can be as crazy as you want with a nonsense poem. As you probably already know, nonsense poems are just random and about having fun with writing. It seems that you pretty much accomplished those aspects.
Acrostic-She
ReplyDeleteSitting there
Hoping that she doesn't
Eat my soul.
Nonsense Verse- ibac zog
ibac zog zimoz
ragos itto slimu
zilox eppy kimoz
tipoo tos bimu
any thoughts about the acrostic?
-Cory
Consultants can be useful for a number of business purposes, but when it comes to mediating between an article writing service and a client, they're usually nothing more than a middle man.
ReplyDeletewebsite