Cinquain
Haiku
Lune
Renga
Tanka
Post the two-three poems you like the best out of the group from this packet. Include the style you chose to explore.
After your poem, write a few sentences about why you like these particular poems.
In addition, write one question you have about how you can improve your poem. - Peers are assigned to respond to these questions on a regular basis.
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DUE: Wednesday, February 9
Haiku
ReplyDeleteHurdling puddles
Dodging crystal rain cascades
Play with the rainbow
I like this poem because I love the rain. Well at least looking at the rain. As a child I tried to dodge the raindrops and chase the end of the rainbow. This poem brought back found childhood memories. I love this style because a specific picture is painted in a few words.
How is the haiku I wrote any different than professionally published/ famous haikus? What distinguishing them from me in this style?
Cinquain
Justice?
Mortality!
Invisibility…
Unconstitutionality!
Silence…
I love this one because i used the 2/4/6/8/2 syllable pattern but I only used one word per line. I'm not sure if it's proper to put punctuation at the end of each line but i felt it was necessary to include so that the poem didn't seems like a random group of words. I just like the voice of this poem.
How could this poem improve? Is the one word per line a step in the wrong direction for this style?
NIA KAI DAVIS
Cinquain
ReplyDeleteI'm here
So ready up
I am going to fall
Make screams of "Oh please no!" to thee
I'm snow
Lune
I'm very subtle
Jealousy
You know, of the heart
Tanka
Can it be altered?
The situation is polarizing, is paralytic
Stay stuck
It cannot evolve, may it thaw?
Do not contact if it's not positive
Cinquain
ReplyDeleteI'm here
So ready up
I am going to fall
Make screams of "Oh please no!" to thee
I'm snow
I dont actually like this poem at all. I'm not a fan of writing about nature or anything. So I guess my intention was to make a pretty generic and dull poem that doesnt change you at all in anyway after reading. Did it work?
Lune
I'm very subtle
Jealousy
You know, of the heart
I like this poem because it started out with a completley different intention. I wrote the first line and had nothing in mind.Do you like it?
Tanka
Can it be altered?
The situation is polarizing, is paralytic
Stay stuck
It cannot evolve, may it thaw?
Do not contact if it's not positive
I like this poem because it can stand for anything that is bad-- world conflicts, individual's personal conflicts-- so basically alot. Was it powerful at all when you were listening to it?
Cinquain
ReplyDeleteoh school
its boring and
take up a lot of my
time and makes me get up very
early
i like this poem because obviously everyone gets tired of waking up early and going to school so i wrote a poem about it . and i also like how it's basically all one sentence.
do you have any suggestions at all on how to improve it, if it needs imporvment?
Haiku
the mossy river
where geese spend so much time
looks very peaceful
i like this poem because i talked about the pond by my house but idk why i used the word river.. probably because when i hear the word nature i automatically think river and trees.
is it too bland? what can i do to fix it?
- Reema Hamadeh
Cinquain
ReplyDeleteYour past
Your past,
The things you've done,
Every single event,
Have made you who you are today.
Go on !
Haiku
warmth,
blue sky is over me -
so is the sun.
Lune
I see light,
it is warm and bright.
I feel well.
I chose all three poems, because they are all very similar. I really like my first poem though, because it is a true poem and not completely random.
In poem 2 and 3 the content is nearly the same. How can I express the same topic in different words?
Karl Schmelzing
Haiku:
ReplyDeleteIn this deep blue sea
I have the fish follow me
The water is clear
I like this poem because it allows you to practice the flow and structure of the writing of poems.
My question is should this make more sense or does it connect well enough?
Tanka:
Memoirs of the year
Pass, No where to be found
Days are long in summer
Cold is dominant in winter
Wind is present everywhere
The wolves howl forever
I like this poem because I got to be creative with it and talk about the seasons which brings out different expressions and feelings
Is this too short? Should I lengthen this type of poem?
Alexander Weston Worix
Cinquain
ReplyDeleteRain
Rain fall
Steady wet drops
Powerful thunder drifts by.
Puddles turn into rivers, lakes
Drip drop.
Lune
Heart
Steady flowing blood
pulsating
trickling slowly.
Haiku
Mystery
Light shone through the path
visible no more.
The path is silent.
I liked all 3 of these because I thought they were short and fun. Sometimes i feel like poems take to long to get to the point, and these go straight to the point. It was fun playing around with shorter forms of poetry.
Should I have made these a bit longer? I know the specific style seems to be a shorter poem, but I feel like maybe I could have expanded.
Bria Griffith
Cinquain
ReplyDeleteBrother
Happy and fun
Smiling all day and night
Lovable, Playful, Laughable
My Bud
Haiku
Black and orange
Bouncing up and down
In the net. Swish!
Lune
See me run
To the finishing line
Wait for me
Kierra Morris
ReplyDeleteHaiku
Snow falling
each time a little different
than the other.
Renga
Lions looking at the lonely prey
Eyeballs buldging from here to there
Tree limbs patruding from its side
Autums leaves flying in the breeze
Birds soaring from high above
Looking down from the Effel Tower
Digging up dirt to find little worms
Screaming to Mother Nature why
Little kids running and playing throughout the day
I really liked my Haiku because it was short and simple, maybe a little to simple? I stuggled a little with the Renga poems. Should i have made a stronger connection between each line?
@Alex
ReplyDeleteQ: (First Poem) My question is should this make more sense or does it connect well enough?
A: It's connected pretty well. The only line I might change is the second one, it seems like the only line that doesnt fit.
Q: (Second Poem) Is this too short? Should I lengthen this type of poem?
A: You could add more if you really wanted, but I think it's a fine length the way it is.
Cory Flohr
ReplyDeleteTanka-Cold Chicago
pain,
followed by uncomfortable numbness
winter in Chicago
I never would have imagined
such conditions sustaining life
Lune-High School
sentimentalist
suddenly
since it's almost done
I liked how my lune fit the style and was only 6 words, I really liked the one word lines. For my tanka- is my punctuation alright?
Haiku:
ReplyDeleteKaeya Majmundar
Can ne properly described
In five-seven-five
Lune:
Disappointed with
The Haiku
Yet little difference.
I thought the first one was fun because it's so straightforward. As for the lune, I was annoyed that there's barely any difference from the Haiku and the guy was bashing the haiku.
Should I use vetter vocab?
Ameer @ Nia
ReplyDeleteQ: How is the haiku I wrote any different than professionally published/ famous haikus? What distinguishing them from me in this style?
My answer: Well the professionally published/ famous haikus probably had alot of thought put into them, and were probably constructed over time and in a more careful manner.
Q: How could this poem improve? Is the one word per line a step in the wrong direction for this style?
My answer: I like the one word idea, and i don't think its neccesairly a step in the wrong direction. You might want to revisit the punctuation though, because the punctuation alone in this case is half the poem. Just make sure how you punctuate delivers the message you want to deliver.
@Bilal I thought your poems were fun and simple but i think your haiku should have been more connected to nature.
ReplyDelete@KARL
ReplyDeleteQ:. How can I express the same topic in different words?
with your hiku and lune It's a little harder to express your topic in many words in poem #2 i think you can find something else to say other than "so is the sun" i think that kind of throws the poem off.
- REEMA
Haiku
ReplyDeleteElven Ranger scouts,
Silent lords of the forest,
Tracking down their prey
This is a fun nerdy poem, and I like Haiku because it's easy to achieve good results.
Did I cheat the nature theme a little?
Cinquain
Useless.
Help not needed.
They complain about not
Having people to help them out.
I try.
This is about people complaining to you about not having help when you can either not help because of time constraints, or because when you can, it isn't needed.
Does this convey more of people pointlessly complaining, or of help being unavailable?
@Bria:
ReplyDeleteShould I have made these a bit longer? I know the specific style seems to be a shorter poem, but I feel like maybe I could have expanded.
I think these poems are the right size, becuase they do fit the specific style. If they were not depending on a specific style I would definitely expand it with an open and relaxed mind so you can see where it takes you.
@ Reema
ReplyDeleteThe first poem doesn't need improvement because the topic is fine and it fits into the style.
The second one is not too bland, because you can't write a lot in such a short poem. So good job.
Karl
bilal@kierra i like you kaiku poem but you could change the second line and use better use of words and your renga poem is good i liked itt
ReplyDelete